Friday, June 27, 2008
QueQui QuintanaRoo Newspaper
Life is Relationship
I’m not talking about ‘just getting along’ in relationship.
Actually ‘relating well’ with someone is a good relationship?
A good relationship is when you can allow the other to be him/herself without trying to fit that other person into your image of what they should be.
You allow them and also yourself to be completely who you are.
Only then, there is joy and friendship; when there is this freedom in relationship; the freedom to be truly yourself.
So often we hear stories like this:
“We knew each other for 8 years, and we were so happy and in love with each other that we decided to get married just one year ago. And since that moment, everything is going wrong! Before marriage there was so much love & connection, so why did we get married? Now it is a living hell. I blame him, and he blames me. We even hate each other’s parents. It’s a total mess!”
Standard story – what went wrong?
Marriage brings many hidden concepts and expectations to the surface.
The moment that you get married; becoming husband and wife, the role of ‘friends’ that you were before, changes. You must now fit into a new role: the framework of husband and wife; along with your concepts of what that is and also including the other’s concepts and expectations also.
You are always trying to fit inside some role. But you are not the same people.
If you can stay friends while being husband and wife, and especially in the role of parents with your children; that would be the most beautiful thing!
Friendship has no framework; as it is allowing the other to be who they truly are.
You cannot decide to flower into a friend and take on that role. But you CAN decide to take on the role of all the others; husband, wife, father, mother.. It is a simple choice.
A true friend is accepting the other exactly as they are.
We are always trying to understand each other. Does it ever work?? Never!
We will never succeed in understanding the other. We cannot even understand ourselves and why we behave in the way that we do.
It is impossible because first YOU must understand who you are.
YOU are a result – the experience of X number of factors which are: physical, mental, emotional, religious, political, and social conditioning. All of these factors together created you. From the intention of when you would be conceived to the time and place of your birth. And during your time in the womb; the books that Mom read and movies that she watched even had an influence, as well as her religion, and her fears that she experienced.
And then your own religious experiences, your parenting, and your experiences of your chosen friends in school.
The way that you see and experience God, Nature and the Universe, depends on all of these factors,
Your speech, perceptions, and relationships are a result of all of these factors.
With all of these factors the result is like you are wearing green colored glasses which becomes ‘your perception’ as you look at life through them.
And now let us take your partner, in this example we will use the wife and with all of her factors, she wears orange colored glasses.
You are constantly frustrated and complaining, “Why can’t she see that it is green? It’s so simple”, you say. “Why is she choosing that horrible dining room table in mahogany, and not beige?”
And after you get the table home, you feel that it should be placed here and not there. And you both are communicating different “obvious’s” that you each have.
It will never be obvious to her the same that is so obvious to you.
You need to realize and become aware that you and she are different because of your X factors. It is better to accept and experience each other enjoying each other’s presence and forget about understanding each other. Learn to appreciate her orange views and she will appreciate your green views.
What is so real and obvious to you is not the same for everyone else. We waste a lot time and energy trying to make others see what we see: green.
So with this new awareness and knowing that you see green and not orange, first the husband needs to accept himself completely as he is before he can accept the wife exactly how she is. And this applies to all relationships: with the mother-in-law; father-in-law; child; boss; cousin; mother; father; brother; sister, etc.
So stop and take a moment to look and see if you have caused any pain to your partner because of this fact.
If so, apologize to them, and seek forgiveness.
And if they have also caused any pain to you; try to also forgive, praying for the strength to forgive if necessary. If you have any problem just invoke the presence.
Then feel deep gratitude.
Alexis is a transmitter of energy called Oneness Blessing which initiates a process of awakening the Divine Presence within you; taking you towards Oneness, and enabling you to see the reality of what you are in every moment. Also healing your body, your relationships, and recognizing the divinity in the experience of the present moment…. Conscious awakening is the ability to see reality as it is, without the layers of interference and interpretation imposed by the mind. Oneness Blessing is a transfer of Divine energy which helps us to disidentify from conflict and suffering, taking us to states of inner peace, joy, happiness and Oneness.
This energy called Oneness Blessing is universal & useful in all spiritual traditions. It enhances our ability to connect from the Heart with the Divine & with all of the people that we love. Many report that after receiving Oneness Blessing they experience healing on all levels, as well as powerful and ongoing spiritual awakening. Most people are seeking harmony and joy. We have discovered that it is possible for everybody to live in that state of inner freedom, even permanently.
With this experience that I have just lived, I felt that I actually connected with a much deeper part of myself because it touched the most sensitive side of me. I found myself connecting with my very essence, everything that moves me inside. Thank you for making me feel that.
June 16, 2007 I gained new knowledge and learned individual techniques. It was a unique experience. I also learned control of the mind and personal well being, control of the physical body, and how to identify a person. Expert in Forensics
It was a very comforting experience to listen to Alexis as she helped me to regain interest in things that I had been ignoring in my life and which are actually the most important things to me. I would love to have the opportunity to have this experience again. Thanks Ángel.
Please feel free to write me. Webpage: www.livinginoneness.com